Market Economy Status THE MUSICAL- An Economic Rejection Letter to China

Why doesn't China have market economy status? We don't get it either. Luckily we have Global Economy Correspondent, Erin Darling, reporting (and singing) breaking news satire straight from the World Trade Organization. Guitar by Peter Chung. Musical & lyrics written by Erin Darling & Peter Chung. SCRIPT: MARKET ECONOMY STATUS – AN ECONOMIC REJECTION LETTER For more, we go to our global economy correspondent Erin Darling who has been talking to leaders at the World Trade Organization. Erin, what’s the latest? Thank you Jon, China has made massive strides since joining the WTO 15 years ago, but when I asked leaders from some of the world’s biggest trading partners if they would finally grant China market economy status, they said, “Pretty sure, nope. But we’ll still buy their stuff.” Why not? Well, the main problem in calling China a market economy is, that they’re not a market economy. Because China’s domestic costs are lowered by government subsidies, they can “dump” all over the global market. I’m sorry, but did you just say - Dumping? Yes, I did. Dumping occurs when products are sold in an international market at below the domestic cost of production, creating a threat to industries in the importing country. So despite the fact that we still want to trade with China, AND that fact that Chinese economic domination is inevitable, everybody here just wants to keep them out of the club as long as possible. And that’s the official word? Unfortunately, there is really only one way to get a message through to the Chinese populace. And that is to become a white female pop star. I will now sing this official statement and have it available for illegal download with the help of my Chinese friend. I’m Korean. To China. From hesitant countries that will still trade with you anyway despite the potentially offensive contents of this letter… LYRICS: so you’ve got the biggest population the great wall is a big sensation but you’re still a developing economy under the World Trade Organization and they’ll never grant you market economy status you’re dumping, China, and we don’t mean poo your pricing is lower than what the U.S. can do so to make it “fair” we’ll tax the shit outta you but we’ll never give you market economy status you’ve got some shady regulations like maybe child labor expectations but we all still wanna buy cheap clothes from "Asians" (it says that. That's racist!) but we’ll never give you market economy status cuz China there, ain’t no taxes high enough cuz our prices aren’t low enough your great wall isn’t wide enough to get you market economy status!